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Author Topic: Funny stuff  (Read 24306 times)

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Surprised_by_Witches

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Re: Funny stuff
« Reply #800 On: January 02, 2018, 02:34:41 PM »
 :D

Lynet

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Re: Funny stuff
« Reply #801 On: January 05, 2018, 01:01:30 PM »
They man I follow on Quora (Ernest Adams) has always got something interesting to say, or to quote. He quoted this from a George Bernard Shaw comedy play, Press Cuttings:

MITCHENER. When a man has risked his life on eight battlefields, Mrs. Farrell, he has given sufficient proof of his self-control to be excused a little strong language.

MRS. FARRELL. Would you put up with bad language from me because Iíve risked my life eight times in childbed?

MITCHENER. My dear Mrs. Farrell, you surely would not compare a risk of that harmless domestic kind to the fearful risks of the battlefield?

MRS. FARRELL. I wouldnít compare risks run to bear living people into the world to risks run to blow them out of it. A mother's risk is jooty: a soldier's nothin but divilmint.

MITCHENER. [nettled] Let me tell you, Mrs. Farrell, that if the men did not fight, the women would have to fight themselves. We spare you that, at all events.

MRS. FARRELL. You can't help yourselves. If three-quarters of you was killed we could replace you with the help of the other quarter. If three-quarters of us was killed, how many people would there be in England in another generation? If it wasnít for that, the man'd put the fightiní on us just as they put all the other dhrudgery. What would YOU do if we was all kilt? Would you go to bed and have twins?

MITCHENER. Really, Mrs. Farrell, you must discuss these questions with a medical man. You make me blush, positively.

MRS. FARRELL. A good job too. If I could have made Farrell blush I wouldn't have had to risk me life too often. You n your risks n your bravery n your self-conthrol indeed! "Why don't you conthrol yourself?" I sez to Farrell. "It's agen me religion," he sez.

 :dies:
Be polite, or I may put you in a book and kill you.

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Mirelly

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Re: Funny stuff
« Reply #802 On: January 06, 2018, 07:58:05 AM »
I love Ernest, but I missed that one. Never saw GBS as a feminist before.  :moon:
"Physics is like sex. Sure it may give you practical results, but that's not why we do it"
R. Feynman

Lynet

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Re: Funny stuff
« Reply #803 On: January 07, 2018, 08:48:29 AM »
How about this Trump joke (posted by a guy named Julien Lamy on Quora.)

Whatís the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo ?

Donald Trump never had a garbanzo on his face.


 :dies:
Be polite, or I may put you in a book and kill you.

Young at heart, old everywhere else.

Not doing things is my new superpower. Iím not doing an infinite number of things as we speak.

Surprised_by_Witches

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Re: Funny stuff
« Reply #804 On: January 08, 2018, 09:40:42 AM »
OMFG. That's horrible. You devil.

And go, GBS. I had no idea either, My Fair Lady being such a piece of sexist tripe. However, the play was better, and that's what he wrote. She ditched his sorry ass and ran off with Freddy.

Surprised_by_Witches

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Re: Funny stuff
« Reply #805 On: January 08, 2018, 02:13:25 PM »
So, the Vikings might actually go to the Superbowl this year, which is being hosted in my hometown (that's going to be a fun Sunday).

Someone printed some T-shirts to commemorate.



Um ....

Lynet

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Re: Funny stuff
« Reply #806 On: January 09, 2018, 03:07:31 PM »
Cheers!  :J
Be polite, or I may put you in a book and kill you.

Young at heart, old everywhere else.

Not doing things is my new superpower. Iím not doing an infinite number of things as we speak.

Surprised_by_Witches

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Re: Funny stuff
« Reply #807 On: January 09, 2018, 03:59:09 PM »
Yes, go Vicks.